Nashville, Tennessee (CNN) -- Almost every weekend, there is a tradition called raging at Vanderbilt University.It's a recurring, drunken activity that isn't the proudest moment for student Frannie Boyle. After consuming large quantities of alcohol before a party, her night would sometimes end in making out with a stranger or acquaintance.
Casual hook ups fueled by alcohol may be the norm across college campuses, but Boyle, now a 21-year-old junior at the school, chose to stop. Her reasons to quit hooking up echo the emotional devastation of many college students, particularly girls whose hearts are broken by the hook-up scene.
"I saw it [hooking up] as a way to be recognized and get satisfaction," said Boyle, shaking her blond ponytail. "I felt so empty then."
The hook-up culture on campuses may seem more pervasive than ever, especially as media outlets, books and documentaries rush to dissect the subject, but some college women and men are saying no.
Now don't get me wrong, this is great news. But the news of it is that the news is finally acknowledging that people like this exist. People who choose not to hook up. Not because they couldn't if they wanted to. Not because they're weird or obnoxious or incompetent. Just because they don't want to disrespect themselves and they know it won't make them happy. I've always known people like this exist because I've always known people like this. They're not that difficult to find.
I mean the headline itself says it all: "No hooking up, no sex for some coeds." Do the folks at CNN really believe that in the past leading up to now all coeds hooked up and had sex? That may not be what they mean to say, but that's how it reads.
Either CNN believes this is a surprising development, or CNN believes it will be a surprising development to some if not most of its readers, which is equally tragic. But hey, kudos to them for breaking the cycle of ignorance.
One particularly interesting fact from the story: I definitely did not know before reading it that Lady Gaga came out celibate recently. If you haven't heard this either, not kidding. MTV reported April 12:
"I can't believe I'm saying this -- don't have sex. I'm single right now and I've chosen to be single because I don't have the time to get to know anybody," she said while visiting England to help promote MAC's Viva Glam campaign, which supports global HIV and AIDS projects. "So it's OK not to have sex, it's OK to get to know people. I'm celibate, celibacy's fine."
So weird, in a good way.
On last excerpt from the CNN story:
Some, like Boyle, experimented with hooking up and quit. Though she is Catholic, she says her reason for disengaging herself from the hook-up culture had more to do with the unhappiness she experienced afterward. Others influenced by religion have abstained from casual physical activity from the moment they set foot on campus.
Not to psycho-analyze Ms. Boyle, as I've never met her before, but her description of the unhappiness she experienced afterward makes perfect sense from a Catholic standpoint. When we pursue emotional satisfaction in a way God would not want us to, like hooking up, it may well make us unhappy even if we never consciously consider whether our behavior jives with our religious affiliation. Things are not either "permitted by" or "against" "my religion." Things are simply right or wrong. They will either make us happy or they won't. Hooking up with strangers, however far one goes, isn't really going to make anyone happy, whether they're a devout Catholic or a flaming atheist.
So when the story says that other people have abstained since they arrived on campus because they are "influenced by religion," I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I appreciate CNN giving religion that much credit.
On the other, I would venture to say that it is not arbitrary religious rules that these young people just follow blindly and gullibly. They're not waiting because they lack critical thinking skills. It is reason and truth that influences them. But again, I can't fault CNN for the way they describe it -- it is probably the least disputable way to do so. And how about that. The best way to avoid years of regret and heartbreak from the moment you set foot on a college campus is to get religion.
Leave a comment