From Matthew Chapter 16, verses 24:
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me."
This does not mean that we wish pain and punishment upon ourselves, or that we directly seek such things.
I used to think wrongly that the example of Christ is a kind of masochism. I could live my life my way, or I could live it God's way. And my way would be easy and feel good, at least by comparison, while God's way would hurt and be very difficult. It might even make me miserable. So what. I deserve it, right?
I thought God's way meant foregoing all my desires, even those which He gave me that are not sinful. The result was that in trying to decide which path I would choose in life -- ordained priesthood, marriage, whatever -- I could not admit to myself what I really wanted.
Lots of people are afraid to admit to themselves what they really want. I'm convinced a lot of guys out there are afraid to admit that they really do want to be ordained priests. They're afraid to do something so radically different with their lives. Still others are afraid to admit that they really want to get married and have kids. Others are afraid to admit they want to do missionary work, or that they want to write, or be a doctor or a musician or an accountant. The main reason devout religious folks are afraid to admit what they want is because they think -- again, wrongly -- that it is somehow selfish. To admit what I want means I focus on that instead of what God wants for me.
That may be a common error to find amongst Catholics, but that does not mean the error is itself Catholic.
Let me put this very simply. God does not play games. If He wants you to do something in particular with your life, He will place that desire in your heart. It is Satan's chicanery that makes you believe you are selfish to follow it. Admit to yourself what you want, because chances are* you want it because God wills it.
But the key is, once we admit to ourselves what we want in life, and once we start pursuing that good that God wants for us, we have to really pursue it. We can't take a detour from the suffering that we encounter in pursuit of the good because we think God wants us to never encounter any suffering.
Jesus came with a clear mission. He pursued it and it was His joy, and His Father's joy -- the salvation, redemption and sanctification of mankind. He did not directly seek to bring suffering upon Himself. But as it began to appear that He would face great suffering and revilement and defilement for His pursuit of this mission, He did not flee. That, His apostles did. It is Jesus who shows us "God's way," and the disciples who show us "our way." It is not that the disciples did something with their lives that they really did not want to do. They wanted to follow Jesus and share in His mission. But they shared in it only until the threat of suffering and death revealed itself. Then, they ran.
Jesus begged His Father to spare Him suffering and death. So we may.
But when, if He was to do the will of His Father, His suffering proved inevitable, He did not run. He did not retreat in the face of pain. John Paul II wrote in 1995** that our current cultural climate
... fails to perceive any meaning or value in suffering, but rather considers suffering the epitome of evil, to be eliminated at all costs. This is especially the case in the absence of a religious outlook which could help to provide a positive understanding of the mystery of suffering.
The Holy Father was saying not that suffering is the greatest thing in the world, but that it is not the worst thing in the world. What is the worst thing in the world is to retreat, to at one moment enthusiastically pursue the path down which God is calling us, only to run in fear the next moment. We may know that the one will hurt for a time, but we know with even greater certainty that fleeing like cowards will surely make us miserable wretches for the rest of our lives.
Because deep down, we want to follow God. We want to live our lives the way He wants us to. We know that the only way we can really be happy is to follow Him, even if, and perhaps partly because, it will often require great courage.
*It is necessary to examine, of course, the moral legitimacy of the desires in our hearts. For example, it is possible that someone may desire something which is morally illegitimate, like the death of his roommate***. In those cases, one often has to look deeper for the good that he hopes to achieve by killing his roommate, and find morally legitimate ways to achieve it.
**Evangelium Vitae -- "The Gospel of Life," paragraph 15
***Don't worry, roommate. We're cool.
